A Safer World
by seasaltmemories
Summary: She remembers the way he had looked like his younger self when he asked that question. She saw the quiet boy full of gentle smiles and nervous laughter from the scattered memories of the Drift.


_"We're drift compatible."_

She remembers that cocky tone he had used when they first met. They had only been children, plucked up by the hands of fate to save the world. Most of the group had started crying at the realization they'd be battling Kaiju, while the other few walked around with a false sense of swagger to hide their fear.

They had been the other few.

 _"Nervous?"_

She remembers the way his voice grew quiet when he asked that question before they suited up for their first mission. Over training, they had developed a friendly if flirty relationship. It had kept things interesting and helped them not think about the horrors they would face. It was only then Chat had started to act serious and show his fear.

She doesn't remember what she told him, but she does remember the way she was able to make him smile as bright as the sun itself.

 _"We did it!"_

She remembers the way he celebrated when Lucky Charm had finally racked up her first kill. He let out such a boyish whoop of joy, she couldn't help but join in as well. When they came back, the entire crew was cheering, Alya was reporting the play by play with such genuine enthusiasm, and even Chloe was all smiles. They spent the rest of the night celebrating as a class together

During a lull in the party, she nudged Chat's shoulder ever so sightly. When he looked at her with confusion painting his features, she simply held up her fist in response.

It was the first of many fist-bumps to come.

 _"I'm sorry you had to see that."_

She remembers the way green eyes wouldn't look at her and how his shoulders hung heavy with shame. She had saw his past and the relationship with his father, something she never wished to see again. However it angered her that he was the one sorry for what happened. He wasn't the one to hurt himself, it was his father she wanted to give a piece of her mind to.

She whispered his real name for the first time. And when he looked up in surprise, she kissed him in an attempt to make him forget such horrifying memories, if only for a little while.

 _"Do you ever wish we had a way out?"_

She remembers the exhaustion that had slipped through his words and the way he had gently traced the side of her face. They were older now, not the kids they had first been. After years of concentrating on keeping humanity safe, they finally had the chance to think about a future. But what kind of future could exist for soldiers like them? This was the only life they knew, and to act like they had other options was unrealistic.

When she told him this, a shadow seemed to pass over his face. He insisted that nothing was wrong

and went back to sleep before she could interrogate him further. And that morning there was another Kaiju attack so by the time they were fully suited up, she had forgotten all about their conversation.

That is, until she saw the way his mother died.

 _Are you happy with me? Honestly?_

She remembers the way he had looked like his younger self when he asked that question. She saw the quiet boy full of gentle smiles and nervous laughter from the scattered memories of the Drift. The man with an arrogant smirk and teasing remark always on the tip of his tongue seemed almost like a dream.

She took his hand in her's and reminded him they were partners, that they would always be there for each other and that she couldn't imagine life without him by her side. And once again she found her heart racing at the way she made him smile as he assured her that he felt the same.

She memorizes all these moments as she drags his wounded body to the escape pod. The emergency sirens are blaring so loud her ears ring, but she doesn't concentrate on that. No she just think of the few ticking seconds she has left to save her best friend.

Despite the time crunch, she makes sure he is strapped in carefully and methodically. Once she is certain he's secure, she takes a few moments to say goodbye.

"Hey silly kitty," She waits for a reaction out of him, but he doesn't stir. Chat seems to be drifting in and out of consciousness and won't likely process a word she says.

Even then she tries not to lose hope.

"I'm sorry you're not gonna get the chance to play the hero like you love to. You went and fell asleep on me. Don't worry, you'll wake up in a safe world for once. One where Kaiju's won't ever lay a talon on again. I know this hurts, but someone has to blow up the breach. And I guess that someone will be me."

She stands to activate the escape pod, but before she can go through with it, she hears one last pathetic whimper.

"Marinette."

The way he says her name sends shivers down her spine, for it was the first time for him to do so. Even with the way their relationship evolved, they mostly stuck to the stupid code names they had chosen as children, back when they didn't realize how close they would become.

"I'm sorry," It takes all her effort not to fall apart as she activates the escape pod and seals her fate. Even then it doesn't stop the pure hurt in Chat's eyes as watches the love of his life disappear forever.

* * *

 **A.N. Merry Christmas tumblr user cycloalkane! Is it as angsty as you wanted it to be? I didn't sign up for the second Secret Santa so I don't know if you got reassigned to someone else, but either way I hope you enjoy this!**


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